Family Photos: More on Ms. Bear

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Yesterday, I began telling the tale of how my mother became known as Ms. Bear. And then I realized something: With a moniker like Ms. Bear, my mom couldn't help but pass down some of her strong, fierce traits to me.

After all, this is what has made me reach for so many things in life. In high school, I was a member of the National Honor Society, and in college, I was editor-in-chief of my school newspaper. I don't know if I would have had the confidence to push myself if my mother hadn't been there, cheering me on and always willing to give me a reality check if I ever got down on myself. Yes, I soon discovered my mother's secret superpower lied in her ability to teach me about life as I was in the midst of living it. She's sneaky like that. Mothers aren't just people who shake a stern fist when you track clumps of mud on the porcelain-white living room carpet. And they're not just people who lecture until their face turns a blazing red when you leave heaps of dirty clothes piled in your room. They shape who you are and they must get you ready to go out into that big world, ready to be the person you're meant to become.

And that's why to Janelle and me, she'll always be Ms. Bear. Not because she's a towering, aggressive creature. To us, she represents a larger-than-life figure, a protector who takes care of her baby cubs. When my father died, I know she not only lost her husband but her soul mate. Instead of retreating into despair, she continued to take care of us -- comforting us, hugging us, being our anchor during the storm of grief. I wish all mothers knew how important they are to their children, especially their daughters. We know you're always watching over us like a mother bear watches over her cubs.

I tell my mother, "I'm 31. I can take care of myself.” But in her sneaky, mother know-how, she's able to see right past that. Because the truth is, I wouldn't be who I am without my mother's guiding hand and loving heart, wrapping me in security and peace. Every night before I go to bed, I thank my mom for everything, for all the physical help she's given me that day. She says it's not necessary, but I never want her to forget how much I appreciate her. And as I get older, I know the "Thanks, Mom” is about so much more than the physical assistance. Maybe that's the beauty of it right there. Call me an idealist, but I like to think mothers pass down the best aspects of their personality to their cubs. So all you cubs, go hug your Mama Bear today. She deserves it. xoxo

Family Photos: Meet Ms. Bear (Part One)

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Everybody has a nickname for their mother. Maybe they're not comfortable with the traditional Mom label. Case in point: In one of my favorite movies Mermaids, Winona Ryder's character calls her mother Mrs. Flax. She takes the professional-relationship route.

My sister, Janelle, and I call our mother Ms. Bear. She's always been Ms. Bear. I'm not even sure when the nickname came into existence. I suppose it morphed out of the childhood image of my mother rising from her bed chambers. Every morning since I was 10 years old, the scene played out the same way. I'd hear a faint creak of a bed, hear loud footsteps on the carpet (my mother wears a size 12 shoe, of course!) and see the bedroom door fling open. And out would step Ms. Bear. Her hair standing up in all directions like Bozo. One sock hiked up to her knee cap, the other dangling from her toes. And that yawn -- a thunderous call in the wild resembling, you guessed it, a bear. It practically shook the whole house. But Ms. Bear was merely making her presence known. A trailblazer pounding through the forest of life. So many times, we vow that we'll be different from our mother. We won't make the same mistakes she did. But I can't help but wonder: Can we ever really escape becoming our mothers? Is it such a bad thing to become the next generation of June Cleavers or Mrs. Flaxes?

Growing up, Ms. Bear opened a bright, sparkling world to me -- a world in which women could be traditional and nontraditional. They could wear the apron in the kitchen and still be strong, independent feminists. All at the same time. She was a stay-at-home mom for most of my childhood, one of those mothers who wholeheartedly threw herself into motherhood. Sometimes I think she was happiest when my sister and I were hanging on her, clamoring for her love and attention.

The summers turned into our designated Mother/Daughter Time. Living mere blocks from my father's electronics shop at the local university, we pounded the pavement on a sweltering day, and after we visited him and marveled at the newest gadget he was fixing; she took us to the lagoon so we could sit under the weeping willows and feed the ducks. Other weeks, she took us to the library, and I remember immersing myself in the stacks of the children's department. In those times, I wasn't disabled. Or confined to a wheelchair. I was just Melissa -- a little redhead reading Curious George and giggling.

Ms. Bear taught me how to become a raging independent woman when we were forced to leave that innocent bubble and enter the scary medical world of Chicago. I'd had 26 surgeries by the time I was 16, and would typically be put in an Ilizarov, a contraption of pins inserted into the bone that would slowly release the muscles and straighten my legs and feet. We were one of the first families allowed to go home with the Ilizarov. It was standard procedure back then for patients to stay in the hospital for four months for treatment. "My daughter will not be laying in a hospital bed for four months,” my mother informed the doctors in her classic matter-of-fact tone. So each day at home, she became my nurse. Laying out a bottle of rubbing alcohol that reeked through the house, setting aside a pile of sterile gauze and slapping on a pair of gloves, she went to work like a pro -- meticulously cleaning every one of some 40 pins on the Ilizarov. You see, my mom planted the seed in me at a very young age that I could do anything I wanted and that I should never let my disability define me. I think this is what made me reach for so many things in life.

(Make sure to check back tomorrow for Part Two... xoxo)

NYC Diaries: 5 Things You'll See at a Taylor Swift Concert

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This weekend, I unleashed my inner 11-year-old and went with a couple of my closest friends to see Taylor Swift. I’ve been a fan of her music since I was 14, so I feel no shame in admitting that I’ll give up a Saturday night any day to sing along (at the top of my lungs) to some of the best breakup songs ever written. And I thought I’d prepare you for what you’re getting yourself into if YOU ever attend the famous Red tour. So without further ado, here are a few things you’re guaranteed to see if you decide to see Taylor live...

Costume changes
Taylor’s known for her sense of style, and she doesn’t disappoint at her concert. Be ready to see lots of preppy polka dots and stripes on her more casual outfits. As for the gowns, think fairytale princess, and that’ll give you a pretty good idea of her fashion choices. Swift is the queen of girl sparkles and glitter, and she always looks perfect in them. As an added bonus, the area just inside the stadium had a museum display of some of Taylor’s most memorable outfits, including the outfit above.

Crazy outfits
People really get into the spirit of the tour and dress up to support their favorite country-pop artist. Many of those who attended on Saturday draped LED lights over their clothes, donned over-the-top themed costumes (there were a few bridal outfits in the audience, which I didn’t really understand), and Sharpied their favorite Swift lyrics onto their skin. Among my favorite costumes were a boy covered from head to toe in red solo cups and a man dressed as a Teletubby.

Creative signs
As with the costumes, people go all out for this concert. So be prepared to see cute slogans like “Cray cray for Tay Tay” and huge posters with the number “22” written on them. There were also a few trios who each held up a letter of “red” and then lowered the “r” when Ed Sheeran took the stage.

Red
Yes, it’s the name of the tour as well as a prominent motif throughout the show. From red dresses to red fireworks to red instruments, you’ll be seeing a lot of this color. And you’ll be feeling all of the emotions -- from bitter resentment over tough breakups to fiery joy over falling in love -- right along with Taylor.

Talent
If you’re going to the concert for Taylor, you won’t be disappointed. She’s at the top of her game singing and dancing high-energy numbers across the stage. (It was super hot and muggy outside, so I kind of felt bad for all the performers sweating under the many stage lights). But Swift’s not the only one who shines under the spotlight. Opening act Ed Sheeran is AMAZING. I’ll admit that I’d only heard of his song “The A-Team” when I first saw him perform. But right after the concert, I added all his songs to my favorites playlist. If you haven’t heard “Lego House,” go listen to it RIGHT NOW!

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--By Caitlin from Stream of Caitlinness

[Top photo via We Heart It]

Disabilities In The Media: Miss You Can Do It

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Have you guys seen the new HBO documentary Miss You Can Do It? The documentary chronicles the inspiring work of Abbey Curran, who was crowned Miss Iowa USA 2008 and went on to become the first woman with a disability to compete in the Miss USA pageant. Born with cerebral palsy, she never let her physical limitations stop her; she faced life with a strong sense of determination and resilience. Curran wanted to give other young girls with disabilities the opportunity to let their beauty shine, so she launched the Miss You Can Do It pageant.

The annual event, celebrating its 10th anniversary this year, invites contestants and their families for a weekend of fun and self-esteem building. The documentary follows eight young girls as they compete in the pageant. "I hope that my Miss You Can Do It girls leave this pageant knowing that, okay, we might fall down, or someone might stare at us, but I just did something amazing," says Curran. "Something that not very many people get to experience."

Did you watch it, friends? I'm dying to see it, but I don't get HBO -- anyone know if you can watch it online somewhere? Way to go, Abbey and all the beautiful girls!! xoxo

NYC Diaries: 8 Weird Things That Are Not Weird in NYC

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When it comes to odd sights, New Yorkers have pretty much seen it all. We’re used to the strange and avant-garde. I mean, this is Lady Gaga’s home state, and it can’t get any weirder than that, right? But there are a few things in this lovely city that just wouldn’t happen anywhere else. And here are my favorites...

People dressed as superheroes and other characters
How do you make a quick buck in the city? Dress up as a popular kids’ movie/show character and charge tourists a dollar to take a photo with you. IT sounds like a total scam, and it basically is, but you’d be surprise how many tourists fall for it just to take a picture with Superman.

Heavily armed cops EVERYWHERE
Cops are one thing. But these guys are seriously ready for the zombie apocalypse with all the weapons they’re carrying. Scary? Yes. But you’ll feel really REALLY safe around them.

Street performers
An impromptu breakdancing show? Yes, please! Crowds often gather in the middle of the sidewalk to watch these talented amateur performers do amazing feats. And the best part is that it’s totally free.

Starbucks and Duane Reade stores on EVERY corner
I’m not kidding -- they’re on EVERY corner. So you have no excuse to miss a coffee run in New York City!

Rudeness
It’s just something you’re going to have to accept about New York: People are not always nice. The sidewalks are typically very crowded, and people will bump into you (both accidentally and on purpose). The first time I traveled to the Midwest and someone greeted me good morning as he passed, I remember looking at him like he was insane. Things like that just don’t happen around here.

HUGE stores
We have Macy’s and Toys R’ Us (complete with a full-sized indoor Ferris wheel). These stores are gigantic! I seriously can’t even shop in the supersized Forever 21 here because I get so overwhelmed. You’d think that so many options would be amazing, but it’s really kind of frustrating.

Celebrities
This is their territory and here, they are normal people. So don’t be surprised if you run into Ryan Gosling walking his dog around the block (like my super lucky friend did!).

Food trucks
You see them on college campuses once in a while, but in New York City, they’re a big deal. From Indian food to protein shakes to overpriced cupcakes, these food trucks are like mini restaurants just waiting for you to try their gourmet offerings. Just make sure you have enough of a sweet tooth to sample from all of the amazing bakeshops around town!

Read my blog, LIKE me on Facebook and FOLLOW me on Twitter for more! 

--By Caitlin from Stream of Caitlinness

[Photos via We Heart It]

MEMO TO MEN: My Disability Top 10

FREE IMAGES MEMORANDUM
TO: Men all over the planet
FROM: Melissa
RE: Disability 101
DATE: June 18, 2013

So, boys, you know how David Letterman has a Top Ten list every night? Well, a few years ago, I came up with one of my own. It was dozy of a list, a veritable smorgasbord of my medical life -- all neatly explained in just ten points. What could be better than that? I thought it would be fun to share them with you because, as you know, knowledge is most definitely power -- and power is sexy... Oh wait, where was I? Oh, yes, that handy little list...

1. It's not contagious; and it won't give you Cooties, either.

2. It's given me a punchy sense of humor.

3. I was once hospitalized for 31 days for an infection I contracted after surgery for a spinal fusion (hence, my constant perfect posture).

4. I was oh-so-very hot during said stay - literally. My temperature rose to 106. I was probably a bit delirious, too - not that I remember too much, though.

5. I find hospitals oddly comforting; in fact, some of my happiest family memories from my childhood, especially with my father, took place there.

6. I'm a girl who loves to eat. I dehydrated easily as a girl, so I was frequently hospitalized for IV fluids. The routine was always the same: They hooked me up to that IV, let me rest and recover for a couple days and then once I was feeling better, I'd order a cheeseburger and the doctors knew it was time to give me my discharge papers. They called it "The Melissa Blake Diet." I refused to eat that giggly Jell-O. Even in the hospital, I set the rules.

7. To date, I've had 27 surgeries, but haven't had one since I was 15.

8. In high school, my disability sometimes made me feel like a class freak; though I think I hid it pretty well. I tried to project an air of self-esteem at least.

9. I'm just less than 4 feet. How tall were the Seven Dwarfs? I could probably qualify as the eighth.

10. My motto: "Why walk when you can roll?"

What do you think, boys? I hope this shows that even though it may seem like it's pretty easy to get to know me -- which it is to some degree -- there is still so much below the surface. What would you love for me to know about you...? xoxo

[Bottom photo via Le Love]

NYC Diaries: 4 reasons to love summer in the city

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New York is a great city with wonderful things to do and see throughout the year, but let’s face it: There’s nothing like a warm and beautiful city summer. This is my third summer officially working here, so I’ve had plenty of time to get used to and relish in the wonderful sights and activities this place has to offer. And over the past few years, I’ve grown to love some of the places and events that make these summers unique to the Big Apple...

A park with a view!
The High Line is perhaps the most serene area in the whole City. If there’s one place to escape the hustle and bustle of the streets but not travel TOO far, it’s here. A public park built on a historic railroad above the streets of NYC, the High Line is my favorite place to go to catch a break. There are flowers and grassy patches and vendors of all different kinds of things, from street art to gelato. I used to visit the park every morning during my first internship at the Oxygen Network, reading and trying to get a tan out in the lounge area.

Pet paradise!
It seems that everyone who lives in New York City has a dog, and summer is the season when you can’t step outside without passing by someone walking his or her pet. I’m an animal lover, so it’s always fun to see all the different dogs interact and play with each other. It serves as a reminder of the simpler pleasures in life.

Street style!
One of the best parts of summer is that we can shed our heavy and often less-than-cute winter coats and galoshes in favor of sundresses and strappy sandals. Summer always has the nicest fashions, and it’s great to see the variety of pretty outfits people wear to work as well as on their days off. And New York is never short on style!

Celebrity spotting at the gym!
Along with warmer weather comes more outdoor activities, which means that everyone’s rushing to the local gyms to sculpt that last-minute beach body. (I’ll admit that I’m one of those people.) And the best part is that celebrities frequent many of the NYC gyms. Hugh Jackman works out down the block from my office, for instance. And singer Sara Bareilles was in my gym just a few days ago! But not everyone depends on the gym to lose the extra winter weight. Summer’s the season where you’ll see a lot of joggers passing by. And it’s always nice to see the cute guys of New York shed their shirts and show off their near-perfect abs after a long day at work, isn’t it?

Have a happy summer!

Read my blog, LIKE me on Facebook and FOLLOW me on Twitter for more! 

--By Caitlin from Stream of Caitlinness

[Photos via We Heart It]

Disabilities In The Media: Nicole Kelly raises awareness as Miss Iowa

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First Iowa, next America? When Caitlin posted about Nicole Kelly on Facebook, I knew I had to share it, friends. The recently crowned Miss Iowa was born without her left forearm, and will go on to compete for the Miss America title on September 15th. Her inspiring platform? Overcoming disabilities.

"A year ago, I certainly didn't see "pageant titleholder" in my future," she says in her pageant profile. "Perhaps I didn't originally envision this path, but I now know that being Miss Iowa is the perfect fit for me, and I feel so blessed to be surrounded by people who have encouraged me every step of the way. Giving a voice to my platform, Overcoming Disabilities, is a tremendous honor and I am thrilled to continue my adventure by speaking out and touching lives as Miss Iowa 2013."

How inspiring is that? Way to go, Nicole! Can't wait to see you on the stage in September, and thanks for inspiring such self-confidence! xoxo

P.S. A fun new feature is coming up shortly! :)

[Via Huffington Post]

Do or Don't: The disability edition

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My mom is well into her last week of school before summer vacation, and this week, her students are reading a book about a girl with cerebral palsy. To teach them about disabilities in the real world, she made an awesome PowerPoint and was so excited to show it to me. It was the first PowerPoint she ever made, and she was quite proud of herself -- and so was I. She included everything from why inclusion is so important in schools to some facts about Freeman-Sheldon Syndrome and how I've dealt with my disability over the years. My favorite slide, though, was this one, on what to do and what not to do when interacting with someone with a physical disability...

I'm a big fan of speaking directly to the person. I can't tell you how many times I've been out with someone, especially at a restaurant, and people will come up to us and ask questions as if I'm not even there. It's all about squashing those stereotypes, friends! Way to go, Mom!

P.S. Disability bingo and common disability misconceptions.

Let's Try: Prancercise!

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One of my goals this summer is to get into an exercise routine. At the top of my must-have moves? Prancercise! Ever since creator Joann Rohrback's 1989 video went viral last week, I -- and the rest of the Internet -- have become obsessed with this new way of moving and grooving.

I'm thinking I'd have to modify the routine a bit since I'll be using my walker (those ankle weights are probably out...), but I can't wait to get prancing! As Joann says, it's time to "stop talking and do some walking."

I'd love to know, friends: What's your go-to fitness routine? Any tips for me as I begin my journey? Will you be taking part in the Prancercise craze this summer?

P.S. I've got another summer project that I can't wait to tell you about. Look for it on the blog in the next few weeks... :)

[Via TIME]

An Open Letter To Amanda Bynes

FREE IMAGES Dear Amanda:

I'm not going to beat around the bush here. Instead, I'll just get right to the point, because I think you deserve at least that: You've had a pretty rough time of it lately. You know this. I know this. It seems like practically everyone knows this. We've all seen your life play out in a series of tweets and headlines that leave everyone scratching their heads and questioning every move you make and every word you say. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't guilty of this at least a time or two, but this letter is not about that. It's most definitely not about that. Unlike those tabloids, I'm not going to come charging at you -- full-speed ahead and full of accusations and speculations -- because, like I said, I think you deserve a bit more respect than that. I'd simply like to give you some things to think about, things that I would want someone to tell me if I were in your shoes...

You're a powerful person 
Own that and use it for good. I've always admired your girl-next-door vibe ever since your All That days. You were cool and laid back, and you could tell that people really responded to that. And people still respond to that, nearly 20 years later. It's such a rare trait in Hollywood, so it's no surprise to see messages from your fans on Twitter -- messages of support from a team of people pulling for you. Use this opportunity to be the awesome role model I remember.

Take health into own hands
There's nothing wrong with admitting you need help. People have this idea in their heads that asking for help is the ultimate sign of weakness, but really, reaching out is the ultimate sign of strength. It shows that you're human, and there's nothing weak about being human. When I went through my scary depression, I was so thankful to have people around me who wanted to help, people who didn't make me feel like I was weak or like what I was going through was somehow my fault. I'm not sure I could have gotten better without those people in my life.

Because, when all is said and done, we all need someone in our corner, don't we? When it comes down to it, we can't get through this crazy world alone. And we're just kidding ourselves if we try or if we think we can. We need people cheering us on. We need people telling us it's going to be OK when it feels like everything is crumbling down around us. We just need people who get us and love us, no pretenses and no questions asked. I hope you'll reach out to those people. They want to help you. If only you'll let them... xoxo

[Photos via We Heart It and Le Love]

MEMO TO MEN: 3 reasons I'd make a better Bachelorette

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MEMORANDUM
TO: Men all over the planet
FROM: Melissa
RE: Re-inventing the Bachelorette
DATE: May 28, 2013

So, boys, it's come to my attention (thanks, Twitter...) that there's a new Bachelorette in town. I hear she started her quest last night to find Mr. Right. I didn't get a chance to DVR the episode -- my DVR is filled to the brim with Mad Men and a season and a half of Gossip Girl -- but all this frenzied excitement surrounding this newest gal and her suitors-in-waiting made me think of one thing: My own dreams of yore. Yes, as hard as it is to believe, I once dreamed of being one of those starry-eyed, rose-wielding bachelorettes

And, well, if I'm being completely honest, maybe a part of me still does. I mean, remember my Bachelorette Quest from a few years ago? Yeah, I know, it was pretty gosh darn epic, wasn't it? So with that in mind, boys, I give you some new testimony -- three reasons why I'd make a fabulous bachelorette...

You could be my first time
No, no, you silly boys, I'm not talking about that sort of first time. I'm talking about the first-date-and-first-kiss kind. And yes, I know it would be broadcast on national television. And yes, I know I'd be pretty nervous -- we're talking might-be-shaking-palms-sweating nervous. But I promise you that it will be real, so if I'm that nervous, I can only imagine how nervous you'll be.

I'll be real and honest
There's that word again. Real. Something that is sadly lacking in reality television in 2013, which makes me miss the early days of shows like The Real World and American Idol. But I digress. My turn as the Bachelorette? I can guarantee that I'd give you one dose of real, boys, and I'd expect you to give me nothing less in return.

One word: Diversity
Let me be real again for a moment -- there hasn't been much diversity when it comes to those bachelorettes. A change of hair color is about as diverse as things will get. But just think of all the sorts of diversity I'd bring; it's pretty safe to say there hasn't really been a person like me on network TV. The time has come, don't you think, boys? If for no other reason than to show the world that women with disabilities are just like other women with the same hopes, dreams, fears and -- gasp! -- desires!

It's time to start changing the world, boys! I'd say it's time to gather 25 of you, give me a rose and watch those sparks fly! Are you with me? xoxo

NYC Diaries: The one in which I learn to own my 'flaws'

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When I was a little girl, I was a big fan of Disney princess movies. I wanted to be glamorous and pretty just like them, and I wanted more than anything for my own personal Prince Charming to fall madly in love with me for being so glamorous and pretty. It seemed like a practical and obvious dream at the time. If Cinderella could attract her perfect man with just a warm smile and a kind heart (being a princess seemed to require a kind heart, didn't it?), why shouldn't I aspire to do the same? Well, I’m an adult now. And love is complicated, to say the least.

So I've spent half my life obsessing over improving my looks and striving to be stick-skinny in hopes that I’d attract Mr. Right. I've spent countless hours in front of my bedroom mirror trying to minimize the appearance of my physical disability, certain that my future prince would not be attracted by a hunk of metal that made up my artificial left arm. I thought I had everything figured out, and I believed I’d live a happy life if I was pretty enough to catch his eye and nice enough to keep him interested. I never considered that maybe the thing that I so desperately tried to hide exactly what a guy could fall for.

In my (albeit somewhat limited) dating experience, I've always been a sucker for the classic compliments every girl wants to hear: “you’re beautiful,” “you’re so sweet." And those are great, but recently someone tried a completely different line. He told me that he was attracted by my strength, which was a trait I never gave much thought to in terms of impressing a guy. He said that I seemed like the kind of girl who could get through anything and still put on a brave face afterward. And yes, he mentioned how my disability contributed to that.

This boggled my mind. In previous relationships, my physical difference had been something to overlook or accept. It was never something I thought of as an asset. But now I can appreciate my disability as part of who I am and as something that has given me the strength I rely on today. And now that I've grown to love myself and become much more confident, I realize that that courage I rock on a daily basis is pretty damn hot.

So maybe I’m not a Disney princess, perfectly pretty and put-together, but I know how to own my flaws. And I also know now that the perfect guy for me will be attracted by the things, glamorous or not, that make me who I am and by the strength behind my struggles.

Read my blog, LIKE me on Facebook and FOLLOW me on Twitter for more! 

--By Caitlin from Stream of Caitlinness

[Top print by Rep Set Goal; other photos via We Heart It]

Shame On You: Parents who hire disabled tour guides at Disney World

FREE IMAGES Dear Parents Without A Conscience:

I'm mad. Steaming mad, actually. You won't hear me say that often, but it's the only way I know how to describe my feelings right now. I've been known to write love letters. This is most definitely not one of those. I hear you've been hiring disabled tour guides to pose as family members so your children can jump the lines at Disney World. You know, no big deal. Apparently, you see absolutely nothing wrong with this. And even worse, you're trying to make the whole thing look even more legit by using a service called Dream Tours (not affiliated with Disney), where you can hire a disabled tour guide for as little as $130 an hour. Callie Beusman put it best in her recent article for Jezebel...

It goes without saying that all of this is truly gross. To think it's in any way appropriate, as an able-bodied person, to take advantage of systems that have been put in place to make life easier for those with physical disabilities is disgusting; to do so in order to assert your extreme privilege is despicable. It's wonderful (and necessary!) that there's a Disney tour service out there catering to those with special needs; to co-opt it as a means of further spoiling advantaged rich kids is shameful, oblivious, and demeaning.

One word: Appalling. What sort of message is this sending to your children? Don't get me wrong. I fully take issue with people with disabilities actually doing this for money, but for you to think this is somehow acceptable is just beyond me.

I've tried so hard never to let my disability be the crutch in my life, as if it was something I could easily fall back on and use as a wild card whenever I needed to. You're sadly undermining a lot of the work I and other people with disabilities have done over the years. Work to change society's perception of disabilities. Work to show people that a disability doesn't have to define your life. Thank you for putting us back just a teensy bit in our efforts.

Yes, there are programs and assistance available for people with disabilities -- programs that help them to lead and full, rich and rewarding life. Notice I said programs for people with disabilities, not programs for people just looking to get a free ride on Splash Mountain.

I know it may not seem like it, but you're effectively telling your children that it's OK to abuse services meant for other, more-deserving candidates. Your attitude is, frankly, despicable, deplorable and disgraceful. You should most definitely be ashamed of yourself. I know I am. UN-xoxo

[Photos via We Heart It]

In which I have a heart-to-heart with my dermatologist

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Remember when I mentioned my little trip to the good old dermatologist a couple weeks ago? Well, it wasn't all that little. It was quite eye-opening, actually. I walked out of the doctor's office sort of embarrassed -- and not just because of my skin blemishes I'd just showed her. BBB Let me start from the beginning (and I do apologize in advance if this crosses over into TIM territory; I do like to overshare, remember?). I've suffered from eczema since high school. The itchy and red blotchy rashes that would appear on my hands and arms were more annoying than anything else. They usually showed up during times of stress (hello, most of high school!), so I'd be forced to bust out my secret weapon: a tube of prescription-strength cream. Lather a layer of two of that stuff on me, and I'd be a new woman. I outsmarted my eczema for several years, and it remained at bay without much need for that pesky cream. Then last year, it decided to sneak up on me and make an appearance. So, I go some cream from my primary doctor.

I suppose now would be a good time to take a little responsibility for what happened next. I got the prescription filled, used it a couple times, slipped it into a drawer and then promptly forgot about it. In my defense, my skin wasn't that bad and it wasn't itching. But I digress. Then about a month ago, my mom noticed an infected-looking eczema spot on my thigh. I had to take her word for it because I couldn't see it (remember my fused neck?), but apparently, it looked like some sort of wound that had opened and was bleeding. It was all-around concerning. My mother, in her normal fashion, went into panic mode. Her hypochondriac side was coming out in full force.

Wait, did I ever tell you that I used to be a hypochondriac? No? Really? Well, anyway, yes, I used to be one. A pretty bad one. Like, seriously bad. Like, to the point where I used to take my pulse and listen to my heart beat. We used to have an actual medical stethoscope, and I used to listen to my heart beat with it -- me, a 10-year-old putting that big stethoscope in my ears and listening for anything abnormal. That's how bad it was.

Fast forward to a couple weeks ago, and I began to get a teensy bit worried I was a stone's throw away from becoming that hypochondriac -- you know, the kind that desperately searches Google images for photos of their skin condition and trolls WebMD until the wee hours of the night, fueled only by an obsession and the glow of a computer screen. Nope. I definitely didn't want that to be me. See, you know it's bad when you're worried about becoming even more of a hypochondriac than you already are. But then I also didn't really want to have skin cancer either, so after some hemming and hawing, I reluctantly made an appointment. And just like that, off to the doctor I went -- nerves and all.

After a round of the usual questions -- How long have you had the rash? Where is it? What is Freeman-Sheldon Syndrome? -- the dermatologist brought out the big guns.

"Do you use lotion?"

Uh-oh, she got me on this one. I then had to launch into my long explanation about how lotion is always too greasy and it never absorbs in my skin and etc., etc., etc. She looked a little perplexed, but thankfully, it didn't look like she was passing too much judgment in her head (I hope, at least).

She then looked at my thigh -- yes, it was a bit embarrassing -- and said it was simply a boil. So, it was good news after all. I didn't have skin cancer or the disease carried by that monkey in Outbreak (Whew! That movie always scared me...). Her suggestions? She showed me a special lotion that will absorb better, and she also suggested that I stay better hydrated to keep my skin from getting dry.

So that was it. I walked out of the office with a clean bill of health. I didn't have skin cancer. Turns out I just needed to drink more fluids and use lotion. Who knew? Not this girl, apparently... xoxo

[Second photo via We Heart It; last graphic made by me]

Love Lounge: Three lessons from my mother

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They say it's only inevitable that we become our parents. Those little quirks and eccentricities we used to roll our eyes at? We somehow suddenly find ourselves saying or doing things we once swore we'd never do. There comes a point where there's just no denying the truth anymore, and my truth? I've reached that point. But I'm learning to embrace it -- maybe even love it. So after my mom wrote about motherhood this morning, I thought it only appropriate to return the favor. Here are the top 3 lessons I've learned from my mother...

Always walk with your head held high
I could on and on about the importance of a strong female role model in shaping a young girl's life. I was lucky enough to have that in my mom. She taught me to carry bravery with me wherever I went and to always be proud of who you are. There will always be people who don't like you (like this person...), but hold your head high because those people don't matter.

Always put family first
The people that do matter? Your family. Always, always, always put them first. After all, they're the people who have seen you at your worst and have stuck by you. Take it from me -- I didn't always make hospital living look as glamorous as this, so trust me when I say that you could never ask for better people in your corner cheering you on as you make your way through life.

Always make time for laughing
I swear, seeing my mom laugh puts the biggest smile on my face. She gets this jolly childlike look in her eyes that is contagious, and before I know it, I'm completely unable to keep a straight face. After 10 years of some not-so-good times, a little laughter can go a long way. And when I think about it, there's no one I'd rather laugh with than my mom.

So, friends, with Mother's Day coming up, tell me: What lessons has your mother passed down to you? Have you turned into her yet? And what lessons do you hope to pass on to your own kids someday? Let's chat! xoxo

NYC Diaries: Why I only date nerds

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I LOVED Melissa’s post yesterday about the 5 types of guys every girl should be crushing on. And since relationships and dating have been on my mind so much lately, I thought this was the perfect topic to write about. While I’ve had my share of crushes on all different types of men, I’ve found that those who would likely fall under the category of “nerd” make the best boyfriends. Sure, they get bad reputations about never seeing sunlight and living in the basement fixated on their Dungeons and Dragons or World of Warcraft. And sure, they can be a bit socially awkward. But underneath the 5 o’clock shadow and duct-taped glasses is often what every girl has been searching the world for: an amazing Prince Charming. Don’t believe me? Fine. I’ll give you 3 reasons why your Knight in shining armor is probably an actual Knight in shining armor in some fictional online world...

They’re smart
Nerds come in all kinds; there are history buffs, gamers, bookworms, etc. There’s no singular mold that defines what exactly the typical nerd looks or acts like, but I can assure you that you’ll probably know a nerd when you see one. But whether they’re “book smart” or just really obsessed with Star Wars, nerds are insanely knowledgeable when it comes to their particular fields of interest. And like Melissa often reminds us, brains can be extremely sexy.

They have the potential to be stylish
Who doesn’t want a guy who can dress well and look snazzy? When you date a nerd, you can rest assured that he won’t be wearing pants that constantly expose his rear end or eight pounds of metal accessories in an attempt to look like a bad-ass. Classic “nerdy” wardrobe choices -- like bow ties, sweater vests or a flattering pair of glasses -- can be very attractive on the right person.

They (usually) aren’t jerks
When you date a guy who knows he’s hot and is used to getting whatever girl he wants, he probably won’t know how to appreciate you. But a nerd who doesn’t normally see much action will most likely treat you the way you deserve. Nerds are also often less shallow and superficial, too. So I’m not sure if this is any comfort to you, but your nerdy man is typically more interested in your gaming skills than the way you did your hair and makeup. But then again, that’s not an entirely bad thing, right? Happy dating!

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--By Caitlin from Stream of Caitlinness

[Top photo via Someecards, bottom photo via We Heart It]

NYC Diaries: 6 tips for getting over any guy

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It’s funny how life can be super cheery and exciting for a little while, and then BAM...it hits you with blinding force that nearly knocks you out.

The breakup.

It’s sudden yet a long time coming, but that doesn't make the heartbreak hurt any less. It happens. And unfortunately, it happened to me just a few weeks ago when I found myself single and without my boyfriend for the first time in over two years. It was my first real long-term relationship, and it came crashing down around me in tiny broken pieces.

I wish I could say it’s been an easy process getting over my ex, but letting go of the first person I really loved after so much time together is not a particularly fun experience. In any case, I’ve been coping well with the help of supportive friends and 6 little tips I’ve been using to heal myself. So whether you’re just getting over a bad heartbreak or you’re trying to forget about the unavailable hottie you’re crushing on, try out these foolproof tips...

Make a change
When you enter a relationship, you are declaring that some part of you belongs to the other person. Your identities, though separate, are shared to form a unit as a couple. So the last thing you want to do is keep being the same person you were when you were with your ex. A week after I broke up with my boyfriend, I went to the salon and had my hair dyed for the first time in my life. It’s now a lovely shade of deep red and (I think) better matches my personality. It wasn’t a very drastic change, but I did want to mix things up now that I’m becoming a different person apart from my ex.

Treat yourself
What girl doesn’t love to pamper herself every once in a while? Go to the spa, take a shopping trip or get yourself a present just because you’re worth it. I bought myself lilies and a beautiful new bracelet from Tiffany’s, and it makes me feel so fulfilled and independent knowing that I don’t need anyone else to get me flowers and gifts.

Date yourself
I hate when people tell the newly single to “spend some time alone.” The way they phrase it makes it sound lonely and horribly depressing. That’s why I prefer to “go on a date” with myself. Take yourself out to the movies or dinner and sit by the park with a great book. Enjoy your own company without needing someone to “complete” you.

Try something new 
When you’re separating from someone you spent lots of time with and did so many things with, it’s important to find new hobbies and jump into something completely unrelated to your ex on your own. As for me, I started doing more yoga and joined a knitting circle my friend and her mother are hosting. These are things that have nothing to do with my ex-boyfriend and therefore don’t awkwardly bring up old memories or make me cry thinking about him.

Focus on friends
They've stood beside you through thick and thin, so you know they’ll have your back when you’re hurting. And chances are, your close friends will have experienced heartaches of their own and can relate to your pain. I’m really lucky that I have amazing friends who are constantly checking up on me and who are available to hang out when I need a tub of ice cream or just a good cry. They've felt it. They get it. And they know how to love me best.

Forgive
This is the hardest one for me. Forgiveness is not something that comes easily to most people. And I don’t just mean forgiving the other person for the wrongs they did. The worst is having to forgive yourself. I’m definitely not perfect, and I messed up a LOT in my last relationship. And while he’s no longer in my life to do the forgiving, I’m going to have to figure it out for myself. Am I completely done with this step? Honestly, no. I’m still working on letting things go and telling myself that I really do deserve love and happiness. But I’m getting there. And I know it’ll all be okay when I do.

Keep your hearts safe...

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--By Caitlin from Stream of Caitlinness

[Photos via We Heart It]

Disabilities In The Media: Teen with Down syndrome sets record on Mt. Everest

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It's true what they say -- there really ain't no mountain high enough to stop Eli Reimer. After 10 days, 17,000 feet and 70 miles, the 15-year-old from Oregon became the first person with Down syndrome to reach Mt. Everest's base camp. "It was humbling, it was inspiring, just an amazing moment," said Eli's father Justin, who joined his son on the record-setting climb. "Eli's life and the lives of those with disability have infinite worth and they can do great things."

Isn't that inspiring, friends? Way to go, Eli... xoxo

P.S. I've got TWO big announcements coming up shortly! :)

[Via PEOPLE]

NYC Diaries: 5 ways to prepare for spring

FREE IMAGES Happy Tuesday, everyone! Let’s talk weather. Here in New York, the sky is dreary and overcast and filled with the promise of rain. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t mind a rainy day every once in a while. But after a long winter of bitter cold and snowstorms, I think I speak for most people when I say that we’re itching for spring. And this is NOT the springtime weather we had in mind. I was hoping for bright flowers and blooming trees and no more reason to wear my coat. And with the proverbial April showers well on their way, it doesn’t look like Mother Nature is giving us a break here.

So how do we stave off the blues during this extended winter? How do we manage to keep a positive attitude amidst the monotony and lack of sunshine? Here are five tips on surviving these next few weeks and welcoming spring the right way...

Get a head start on that spring cleaning
My mom used to tell me all the time: Don’t wait until tomorrow to accomplish something you can do today. So what are you waiting for? Instead of wasting a beautiful spring day stuck inside with chores, why not get it done while the weather is refusing to cooperate? Pack away the jackets and heavy sweaters you won’t need for another few seasons and start filling up your closets with the cheery sundresses and blouses you’ll be rocking within the next month.

Pamper yourself
To me, there’s nothing more uplifting than a spa day. Allow yourself to feel pretty, and get your nails or hair done at the local salon. You’re not just getting ready for a date or party; you’re prepping for a whole new season. So enjoy the wait because getting ready is half the fun.

Work off those last few pounds
This one follows the theme of preparation. Don’t just be passive and wait for the warm weather to arrive. Greet spring head-on by shedding the weight you put on over the holidays and get bikini-ready by the first beach-weather day of the year.

Create a springy atmosphere
Every season requires a bit of redecorating. So get rid of the poinsettias and wintry vanilla-scented candles, and replace them with boldly colored flowers and tropical scents. Sunflowers always put me in a great mood, especially on the dullest days. Even if the outdoors is a rainy mess, your home (or office or dorm) can be a springtime paradise.

Hit the mall

This is my favorite tip! I’m BIG on shopping, and what better time to update your spring/summer wardrobe? Stores are already selling shorts and bathing suits, so that will definitely put you in a warmer-weather mood. A lot of places are also having sales on winter clothes, so you can always stock up on those for next year!

So there you are...some ideas to make this dreary transition period more enjoyable. I hope you have a lovely time, and don’t let the weather get you down too much. Happy spring! And let me know: How are you preparing for the springtime?

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--By Caitlin from Stream of Caitlinness 

[Photos via Pinterest]