Must-watch: GoldieBlox squash gender stereotypes

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Speaking of empowering young women, my heart burst with such joy when I came across this video a few days ago. The video is the brainchild of GoldieBlox, a recently launched toy company aimed at getting girls excited about building, and features pint-sized girls who pack a powerful punch.

"More than a princess. We are the champions." the girls sing to the tune of -- you guessed it! -- Queen's 1977 classic. Riding on skateboards and bikes, the girls descend on the "pink aisle" of a Toys 'R' Us as they deliver perhaps the video's most powerful message, says engineer and GoldieBox founder Debra Sterling, who's made it her mission to expose every girl to engineering

"The odds are against us. We've been told that GoldieBlox can't survive in mass stores next to Barbie. Convention says that engineering toys for girls are a 'niche' for the affluent, and for the internet. Together, we must prove convention wrong,"

Inspiring, isn't it? You can watch more videos on GoldieBox's YouTube channel and learn more about the company on their official website. BRAVO!!! xoxo

[Via Huffington Post]

In The Pursuit of Happiness: ELLE's editor-in-chief on makeup

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I loved reading all your comments on makeup over the last few days. Everyone had such great stories, and I enjoyed learning a thing or two. Have you seen this quote from ELLE's editor-in-chief Robbie Myers? In a recent interview with Into The Gloss, the beauty and fashion maven, who "didn't wear a lot of makeup" growing up, talked about one potential side effect of wearing makeup to work...

Here’s the problem with makeup at work, and I tell this to people in my office: if you start wearing makeup when you’re young, you’re going to be wedded to it. You get used to seeing your face that way and then you feel naked without it.

Also interesting was her comparison of younger vs. more senior members of the fashion industry...

It’s interesting -- the fashion business takes women who wear no makeup very seriously, which I think is kind of great. If you look at what you’d call the more "senior" members of the fashion class, they don’t wear a ton of makeup. So... do you have to wear makeup to be taken more seriously? No. It’s just a matter of what your look is and how you feel about it.

What do you think, friends? It's something to think about from someone "on the inside..." xoxo

[Via Huffington Post]

Love Lounge: In defense of NOT wearing makeup

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I've always hated makeup. In fact, the most "glam" I'll ever go is a small pop of color in the form of nail polish or a hint of shine in the form of lip gloss. I know that’s a bold statement, but I’m a bold girl. What can I say? I've always loved the natural look.

Why do women feel that they won’t be beautiful unless they cover their face with goop? Why on Earth should they feel the need to slather on heaps and mounds of war paint, as I call it? I’m not going in to battle. Why can’t women feel beautiful in their skin? I admit that my own journey toward self-acceptance on the body front has been a rocky one, full of ups and downs and more twists and turns than I care to count sometimes, but it's a journey that has made me a better person, I think. It's been a long road, but one I've ultimately had to take. To learn. To grow. To allow my real self to blossom, so to speak. I'm not sure I could have done that under a layer of makeup. I needed to see myself -- really see myself -- for who I was. I'm still working on it, but I'm finally, after so many years, liking what I'm seeing in the mirror.

What about you, friends? Is makeup a do or don't for you? Do you wear a lot of it? Only in certain situations? Do you think women generally wear too much or not enough makeup? Let's chat! xoxo

P.S. Lucy without makeup.

[Top photo taken a few years ago; bottom photo via We Heart It]

In The Pursuit of Happiness: Marilyn Monroe on women

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I've always admired Marilyn Monroe -- everything from her classic fashion sense to the way she carried herself. And when it came to women, she knew exactly what was up...

"Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition."

YES, Marilyn! You've got it right. Do you have a favorite Marilyn quote, friends?

P.S. Zooey Deschanel on feminism and Susan Sarandon on aging. Two thumbs up for inspiring women! :)

[Quote via Penelope; photos via LIFE]

Love Lounge: Three lessons from my mother

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They say it's only inevitable that we become our parents. Those little quirks and eccentricities we used to roll our eyes at? We somehow suddenly find ourselves saying or doing things we once swore we'd never do. There comes a point where there's just no denying the truth anymore, and my truth? I've reached that point. But I'm learning to embrace it -- maybe even love it. So after my mom wrote about motherhood this morning, I thought it only appropriate to return the favor. Here are the top 3 lessons I've learned from my mother...

Always walk with your head held high
I could on and on about the importance of a strong female role model in shaping a young girl's life. I was lucky enough to have that in my mom. She taught me to carry bravery with me wherever I went and to always be proud of who you are. There will always be people who don't like you (like this person...), but hold your head high because those people don't matter.

Always put family first
The people that do matter? Your family. Always, always, always put them first. After all, they're the people who have seen you at your worst and have stuck by you. Take it from me -- I didn't always make hospital living look as glamorous as this, so trust me when I say that you could never ask for better people in your corner cheering you on as you make your way through life.

Always make time for laughing
I swear, seeing my mom laugh puts the biggest smile on my face. She gets this jolly childlike look in her eyes that is contagious, and before I know it, I'm completely unable to keep a straight face. After 10 years of some not-so-good times, a little laughter can go a long way. And when I think about it, there's no one I'd rather laugh with than my mom.

So, friends, with Mother's Day coming up, tell me: What lessons has your mother passed down to you? Have you turned into her yet? And what lessons do you hope to pass on to your own kids someday? Let's chat! xoxo

An Open Letter To Abercrombie & Fitch

FREE IMAGES Dear Mr. CEO-Mr.-Big-Shot-Who-Do-You-Think-You-Are-Man:

I used to see your brand walk up and down the halls of my high school way back in the day. Before I really even knew who you were, there you were -- in the form of jeans, shirts and other fashion statements of the late '90s. At the time, I thought I hated you for the simple reason that the popular kids seemed to have a monopoly on you, and in my mind, popular was synonymous with evil. But, I'm older and wiser now, and know it's not that popular-kid mentality that I loathe.

It's your "You're-not-good-enough" mentality.

Because, let's just be real for a minute here. We both know that's the whole crux of your marketing objective -- to make young women self-conscious and inferior. You want them to look at your perfectly crafted ads and stare longingly at your perfect models wearing your perfect clothes. And then you want them to do everything they can to become part of your own "in" crowd. You want them to change. And if they don't, well, you want to have nothing to do with them. It's true. You've actually said it yourself. You don't want what you call "fat chicks" wearing your brand; bad for business, huh? Maybe that's why you refuse to carry any size larger than a 10?

You spoke to Robin Lewis for his book The New Rules of Retail, who says...

“He doesn’t want larger people shopping in his store, he wants thin and beautiful people. He doesn’t want his core customers to see people who aren’t as hot as them wearing his clothing. People who wear his clothing should feel like they’re one of the ‘cool kids.’”

Honestly, your views are just disgusting. Your attitude toward plus-sized women is inexcusable. It's this sort of fat-shaming that is creating this culture where young women feel like they can't be who they are, where they must fit into some sort of mold because they're nothing if they're not skinny. Skinny is beauty. Skinny is perfection. Anything other than that is just plain worthless.

Three words: Shame on you. No, wait, I've got nine words for you: You. Are. A. Sorry. Excuse. For. A. Human. Being. A sorry, pitiful excuse, indeed. I could think of other choice words, but I like to think I'm a lady and all, so I'll just keep those words to myself. But do you want to know what's really disgusting? People who perpetuate such superficial stereotypes and only look at beauty in terms of black and white with zero shades of gray in the middle. And what's even more despicable? People who seeks to capitalize by preying on young women's shaky self-confidence. Young women have a hard enough time trying to figure out who they are in this big world -- don't make their journey even harder and even more complicated.

So I don't look like one of your scantily clad, perfectly proportioned models. I get that. I know that. And believe it or not, I'm really OK with that. I know I'll never have a body like that. But here's the best part: I don't want a body like that. Ever. There's something incredibly sexy and attractive about being real and being who you are. I wouldn't ever want to fall in love with someone who was pretending to be someone else, so why would I accept anything less for myself?

You want only good-looking and skinny people associated with your brand? OK, fine. I'd rather have real any day.

P.S. You brand yourself as being the casual, all-American style. Hmmm, looks like you might have some re-branding work ahead of you. I'm not industry expert, obviously, but something tells me that "Casual, all-American style as long as you're under a size ten; fatties need not apply" isn't the best slogan. Just a thought.

[Photos via We Heart It]

Must-watch: Sara Bareilles' BRAVE

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I love the message of this video, don't you? I want to see you be BRAVE, friends! xoxo

P.S. A new Open Letter is coming up this afternoon. :)

How do you deal with haters?

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Remember when I wrote about certain anonymous creepsters for xoJane, friends? Well, if I've learned anything since graduating from high school and college, it's that the bullies and the haters and the general creepies magically disappear once you graduated from high school and college. In a perfect world, they would. But unfortunately, they don't.

So, my strategy for dealing with them has always been one of blind indifference -- that sort of "turn-the-other-cheek" mentality with the hope that once they see they can't get a rise out of me, they'll get bored and move on to their next victim in the metaphorical playground that is the Internet. The strategy has worked wonders (yay!!), and save for the occasional comment here and there, I think I've finally found my balance and no longer want to spend my evenings drowning my poor sorrows in a tall glass of root beer.

But, embrace my haters? Even more, love my haters? Huh? That's something I've never really thought of, and yet, that's precisely what author Ann Friedman is doing. In her New York magazine article, Friedman describes how, instead of ignoring her haters, she actually loves them. What's more, she even treasures all that hate mail she receives, taking it as a sign that her writing is really making an impact.

"Haters aren’t something to be feared," she says. "They’re validation that you’re a big deal. And they’re fuel to do better. Now you’re inspired to prove that their jealousy is warranted."

To illustrate her point, Friedman came up with a Hierarchy of Haters, a handy chart to help rate the hate. "The hierarchy just helps me to compartmentalize them. It’s not that I stop caring altogether, it’s that I care much less about the least consequential among them," she says. She explains it like this...

*High-order haters are those who really know how to hurt you; they may have real power or influence in your social or professional world. These are the folks you might consider responding to, or otherwise defending yourself against.
*Low-level haters are usually people of little professional or social consequence to you. These are the folks who call you fat and ugly because they disagree with your views on, say, the federal debt.
*The lower a hater is on the pyramid, the more likely it is that the best response is to ignore him — while taking pride in the knowledge that, wherever the hater falls in this hierarchy, his or her very existence means you’re succeeding in having an impact.

How refreshing is this? What a great way to put a positive spin on something that could potentially be a very negative experience. Do you agree with the hierarchy? Anything you would add to it? How have you dealt with haters in the past, friends, either online or in your everyday life? xoxo

P.S. Haters gonna hate and Internet niceness.

[Top illustration by SoSticky]

Must-see: Dove's new ad campaign

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Have you guys seen Dove's new Real Beauty Sketches ad campaign? I've always admired the beauty brand's body-positive message, and their newest approach encourages women to see themselves through the eyes of a stranger because "you are more beautiful than you think." Dove asked seven women of different ages and backgrounds to describe themselves while a sketch artist brought their descriptions to life. When these drawings were then compared to sketches of the women as they're described by a random stranger, it became crystal clear: Women were looking through a fun house mirror! Look at how different those sketches are -- of the same woman...

What do you think, friends? Isn't it inspiring? xoxo

Disability Dish: How one project helped me accept my body

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A colleague recently shared with me something surprising and shocking: She rarely looks in a full-length mirror, and when she does, it is only superficially. “T” is beautiful, thin, married and able-bodied. Women with disabilities are not alone; able-bodied women also struggle with body love and self-esteem. Sometimes, it is easy to fall into poor victim mode and blame everything on whatever your “thing” is. Mine is my visible arthritis. As I often do, I put on my therapist hat with “T,” probing, validating and offering ideas.

 

I didn’t suggest this to “T,” but something that helped me connect to my body more deeply was when I posed nude for a photography show a few years ago. It’s such a long story of how I got to do this, and the story of The Raw Beauty photography exhibit was life-altering for the 20 disabled women who were models for our exhibit. I’ll share with you the highlights and what opened up for me. Out of the 20 women who posed, I was one of three who posed semi-nude.

At age 42, I stood taller and stronger in self-acceptance. I was happy with work and had a guy who was crazy about me, so when the opportunity to do Raw Beauty came to me, I said yes. Usually I would analyze and over-think, but this time, I didn’t. I thought, “People stare at me anyway…why not have them stare at a beautiful photograph?” Don’t get me wrong -- when the big day came to bare it all, I still felt nervous, shy and hesitant. But our photographer was incredible, and he also had a chronic illness, which made him more sensitive to body image stuff.

 

We don’t often think of when or how we feel most beautiful, and I got to design my very own photo shoot. I met with my photographer before the shoot to discuss specifics of clothing, poses and looks I liked. We had a blast, and it was exactly as I envisioned a real model shoot. I’m excited for all women to do this. After my shoot, I felt so inspired and altered that I called the other models who were vacillating about posing nude and screamed, “You gotta do it; it was amazing!” I know I inspired one of my friends with arthritis; she secretly hired a photographer for her own boudoir shots and gave them to her husband on their anniversary.

The lesson here: Let go of your fear and take the photos for you; I have a few of them framed in my apartment. When I am feeling low or down about anything, I glance at the photo of me and remember my beauty. Give yourself this gift for the New Year!

 

--By Shelly

 

[Photos via We Heart It]