Shame On You: Parents who hire disabled tour guides at Disney World

FREE IMAGES Dear Parents Without A Conscience:

I'm mad. Steaming mad, actually. You won't hear me say that often, but it's the only way I know how to describe my feelings right now. I've been known to write love letters. This is most definitely not one of those. I hear you've been hiring disabled tour guides to pose as family members so your children can jump the lines at Disney World. You know, no big deal. Apparently, you see absolutely nothing wrong with this. And even worse, you're trying to make the whole thing look even more legit by using a service called Dream Tours (not affiliated with Disney), where you can hire a disabled tour guide for as little as $130 an hour. Callie Beusman put it best in her recent article for Jezebel...

It goes without saying that all of this is truly gross. To think it's in any way appropriate, as an able-bodied person, to take advantage of systems that have been put in place to make life easier for those with physical disabilities is disgusting; to do so in order to assert your extreme privilege is despicable. It's wonderful (and necessary!) that there's a Disney tour service out there catering to those with special needs; to co-opt it as a means of further spoiling advantaged rich kids is shameful, oblivious, and demeaning.

One word: Appalling. What sort of message is this sending to your children? Don't get me wrong. I fully take issue with people with disabilities actually doing this for money, but for you to think this is somehow acceptable is just beyond me.

I've tried so hard never to let my disability be the crutch in my life, as if it was something I could easily fall back on and use as a wild card whenever I needed to. You're sadly undermining a lot of the work I and other people with disabilities have done over the years. Work to change society's perception of disabilities. Work to show people that a disability doesn't have to define your life. Thank you for putting us back just a teensy bit in our efforts.

Yes, there are programs and assistance available for people with disabilities -- programs that help them to lead and full, rich and rewarding life. Notice I said programs for people with disabilities, not programs for people just looking to get a free ride on Splash Mountain.

I know it may not seem like it, but you're effectively telling your children that it's OK to abuse services meant for other, more-deserving candidates. Your attitude is, frankly, despicable, deplorable and disgraceful. You should most definitely be ashamed of yourself. I know I am. UN-xoxo

[Photos via We Heart It]

An Open Letter To Abercrombie & Fitch

FREE IMAGES Dear Mr. CEO-Mr.-Big-Shot-Who-Do-You-Think-You-Are-Man:

I used to see your brand walk up and down the halls of my high school way back in the day. Before I really even knew who you were, there you were -- in the form of jeans, shirts and other fashion statements of the late '90s. At the time, I thought I hated you for the simple reason that the popular kids seemed to have a monopoly on you, and in my mind, popular was synonymous with evil. But, I'm older and wiser now, and know it's not that popular-kid mentality that I loathe.

It's your "You're-not-good-enough" mentality.

Because, let's just be real for a minute here. We both know that's the whole crux of your marketing objective -- to make young women self-conscious and inferior. You want them to look at your perfectly crafted ads and stare longingly at your perfect models wearing your perfect clothes. And then you want them to do everything they can to become part of your own "in" crowd. You want them to change. And if they don't, well, you want to have nothing to do with them. It's true. You've actually said it yourself. You don't want what you call "fat chicks" wearing your brand; bad for business, huh? Maybe that's why you refuse to carry any size larger than a 10?

You spoke to Robin Lewis for his book The New Rules of Retail, who says...

“He doesn’t want larger people shopping in his store, he wants thin and beautiful people. He doesn’t want his core customers to see people who aren’t as hot as them wearing his clothing. People who wear his clothing should feel like they’re one of the ‘cool kids.’”

Honestly, your views are just disgusting. Your attitude toward plus-sized women is inexcusable. It's this sort of fat-shaming that is creating this culture where young women feel like they can't be who they are, where they must fit into some sort of mold because they're nothing if they're not skinny. Skinny is beauty. Skinny is perfection. Anything other than that is just plain worthless.

Three words: Shame on you. No, wait, I've got nine words for you: You. Are. A. Sorry. Excuse. For. A. Human. Being. A sorry, pitiful excuse, indeed. I could think of other choice words, but I like to think I'm a lady and all, so I'll just keep those words to myself. But do you want to know what's really disgusting? People who perpetuate such superficial stereotypes and only look at beauty in terms of black and white with zero shades of gray in the middle. And what's even more despicable? People who seeks to capitalize by preying on young women's shaky self-confidence. Young women have a hard enough time trying to figure out who they are in this big world -- don't make their journey even harder and even more complicated.

So I don't look like one of your scantily clad, perfectly proportioned models. I get that. I know that. And believe it or not, I'm really OK with that. I know I'll never have a body like that. But here's the best part: I don't want a body like that. Ever. There's something incredibly sexy and attractive about being real and being who you are. I wouldn't ever want to fall in love with someone who was pretending to be someone else, so why would I accept anything less for myself?

You want only good-looking and skinny people associated with your brand? OK, fine. I'd rather have real any day.

P.S. You brand yourself as being the casual, all-American style. Hmmm, looks like you might have some re-branding work ahead of you. I'm not industry expert, obviously, but something tells me that "Casual, all-American style as long as you're under a size ten; fatties need not apply" isn't the best slogan. Just a thought.

[Photos via We Heart It]

Love Lounge: 5 (more) types of men to avoid

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Yesterday, friends, we talked about five types of men to avoid -- if for nothing else but our own sanity. Today, I give you the final five. If you should encounter one of these guys, I suggest you run -- fast! -- in the other direction...

The Mama’s Boy
Sorry, sunny, but we don’t have time to play the Freud Game with you. The Mama’s Boy can be a tricky one because at first, it seems all rather cute. “Oh, it’s so cute how he dotes on his mother,” you think. But give it time, and I assure you, it’ll turn into something scarier than your own father-daughter complex.

Mr. Ego

Sure, his aloofness seems sexy at first, but two, three, four years later? It’s just (still) aloofness. And it’s not so sexy anymore, either. I once knew a guy who bragged about everything: His knowledge of current events, all-things politics, baseball, even geography trivia. At first, I was in sheer awe, thinking, “Damn, that’s one sexy, confident man right there.” Yeah, I’m sad to say my awe lasted longer than it should have; I held on, hoping he would magically take an interest in me and what I had to say, which included a love of long summer walks, the future of the media industry and a fondness for classic ‘80s sitcoms. But sadly, he never did, opting instead to droll on and on and on and on about himself. Oh and FYI, Mr. Ego, not everyone cares about the intricacies of baseball. It’s just a sport.

The Newly Unattached Bachelor

I once found out a guy I used to work with was a free man after he made it official modern-day style and changed his Facebook status from “in a relationship” to “single.” I’d always had a little crush on him. And in that moment, I sort of felt like a tiger, ready to pounce and go in for the kill, but then I thought about it. There was far too much baggage attached with that for my liking. A woman can only carry so much weight, and I didn’t have any extra room in my closet for his baggage, skeletons or other quirks during his post-breakup mourning period. There should be a rule dictating the proper amount of time to wait before making a move; it would save both men and women a lot of confusion and inevitably, yet another breakup.

The Ex

This one should be obvious. There is a reason he’s you EX: maybe he cheated, maybe he wasn’t attentive to your needs, maybe he shacked up with someone else or maybe he was just plain stupid. Whatever the reason, even thinking of stirring up those old feelings will only end in one big, bad explosion, with your feelings strewn among the rubble. They say you can’t go home again, and this is especially true of former flames. The candle has gone out; let it burn down to the wick with dignity.

The Ex-Lover Obsessive

This one can be misleading at first. Your dating a great guy, who casually mentions every so often how his ex loved this or did this. It’s cute, you think. This is the sort of guy who can remain friends with his ex.

And that’s exactly when things become unhealthy. Pretty soon, he’s saying how smart she was, how her green eyes glimmered so beautifully against the morning light, how they once spent an entire weekend in bed at this little cabin in the woods and told each other their life story. Blah. Blah. Blah. Pretty soon after that, you two are sitting on the couch as he rests his head on your shoulders and blubbers like a little school girl.

We get it: Your ex should have been Miss America. If he loved her so much, maybe, they should get back together. All this talk about the Elusive Perfect Ex is just plain rude and unromantic. You’re no longer his girlfriend (assuming you ever were, really), but are now his therapist. Never a good position to be in. Ever. It’s obvious he’s in love, only not with you.

Well, friends, what do you think? Do you have any crazy Valentine's Day stories involving these types of guys? How did you handle it? xoxo

[Photos via We Heart It]

Love Lounge: 5 types of men to avoid

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I talked about this a few years ago for one of my Online Dating columns, but in honor of Valentine's Day tomorrow, I thought we all could use a little refresher, friends. Look for Part II tomorrow...

 

They say a good man is hard to find. So, then, naturally, by that logic, a great, wonderful, awesome man must be impossible to find.

 

But have no fear: There’s an ever-fresh, free-flowing supply of not-so-good guys. The bad guys are like those products on late-night infomercials. They’re everywhere, look perfect from the outside and promise to make your life easier, and then two weeks later, you look at the pathetic thing and think, “Geez, talk about false advertising.” If only these sort of guys could wear some sort of sign like “As seen on TV” or come with a return policy. At least we’d have a fighting chance to escape their clutches.

If we're being honest with ourselves, though, we should never get involved with them in the first place. And so, to save you the hassle of not being able to return him without a receipt, I offer the best of the worst: The Top Ten Guys To Avoid (aka, Run, Run For Your Life). These are in no particular order -- it’s just all bad...

The Playboy

Oh, the classic model, from which all other bad boys were born. This guy is slick. He’s a charmer. He knows all his stuff. He’s learned all the rules of the game and has mastered it. He knows all the right things to say, has an incredible knack for remembering important factoids about you, and you just love his notion of ‘staying in the moment.’

The Friend

I’m not putting this guy on the list because he’s bad -- quite the contrary, actually. He’s one of the good ones, one of those rare gems that come around only once in a lifetime if you’re lucky. That, my friends, is the reason you must work your hardest to keep your friendship strictly, well, a friendship. Being friends is a nice place to be -- like the calming poppy field from The Wizard of Oz. If you try taking that feeling to boyfriend status, I claim zero liability for the injuries you’ll receive from stepping on that mine field.

Mr. Cling

This guy is worse than a Bounce fabric softener sheet. We women do love attentive men; what we don’t love is the oppressives. Ask yourself these question: Is he needy? Is he always right behind you and wants to go everywhere with you? Does he text/call/IM/send smoke signals to let you know he’s having lunch and thinking of you? Did he say “I love you” on the third date? It’s just too much, frankly. After all, you don’t want to go through a lifelong, swirling, passionate romance in three weeks. Don’t wear yourself out here. What if you end up being together for five years? That could seem like an eternity if all the sparks have petered out already. There’s something to be said for taking it slow, and if Mr. Cling is stuck on the speed cycle, it’s time to get off the ride.

Mr. Bling

Sure, this guy’s flashy. He has high tastes and nice things: Armani suits, more than one shiny Cadillac, two summer homes in the Hamptons and more man jewelry than the BeeGees. But beyond that? There’s nothing. He’s all flash and pizazz, yet there’s no substance, no real meat on which to build a relationship. Bottom line: This guy is more about showing himself off than showing YOU off. My advice is to steal some of his bling and get out of that scene. Fast.

The Lifeguard

This one is meant as more of a warning for the younger ladies out there. Fawning over the lifeguard is never a game you can win. This guy is easy on the eyes -- tall, handsome, overtly sexy and a toned body complete with ripped abs you could fry an egg on in the hot summer sun. But sadly, summer has to come to an end eventually, and more often than not, that’ll also mark the end of your time with Lovely Lifeguard. Trust me, I’ve played more times than I care to admit publicly. When I was 16, I fell head over heels for the lifeguard at the local pool. He was one of those blond-haired, tan-skin types, but what really hooked my hormones was the fact that he moonlighted as a male model. Yup, that one didn’t go over too well with my father, even though my entire relationship with Nudy Lifeguard consisted of me hiding behind the ledge of the pool and spying on him in a futile attempt to make eye contact while the July sun formed sweet sweat beads down his chiseled face. On second thought…no, this one is still a bad idea.

So, I'd love to know, friends: What 'types' would you add to the list? Which of these types have you encountered? Any advice you'd give? xoxo

[Photos via Le Love]

MEMO TO MEN: Why cheating is unforgivable

FREE IMAGES MEMORANDUM
TO: Men all over the planet
FROM: Melissa
RE: Do NOT pass GO...
DATE: January 28, 2013

Oh, boys. I was beginning to think I'd heard it all. After all, I'm starting to realize that you're capable of some pretty interesting things. But then I came across something that made me go, "Oh no he didn't," because, well, apparently he did.

Our friend Tiger Woods has reportedly re-proposed to his wife, Elin Nordegren. Apparently, he also threw in a $20 million prenup for good measure, but that's beside the point. Woods also reportedly included an anti-cheating clause with his new declaration of love for his ex-wife. Well, if that's not true romance and the sign of a gentleman, I don't know what is.

What's really got my blood boiling here, boys, is that he would have the audacity to even propose again after he cheated. Who even does that? Now, you know that I'm not one to usually buy into these sorts of reports, but it has me alarmed. Could this be the start of a new trend, one where your cheating heart is neatly tucked under the rug and all is quickly forgiven? I'm sorry to be the one to break it to you, but you can't have it both ways. You can't have it both ways. You can't land on jail and then waltz around GO and collect your $200. Love just doesn't work that way. The heart is a very fragile thing, and even the slightest break could take years to heal. Being as naive as to think -- or, even more so, expect -- it can heal any faster is not only insensitive, but also irresponsible.

I hope -- at the very least -- that you will take this as a cautionary tale, boys. The heart is not your plaything to do with it whatever you want -- to at once put it aside, and then expect it to come crawling back to you whenever your mood dictates. True, people are capable of change, but the heart never forgets. Sound good, boys...? xoxo

[Photos via Le Love]